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I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF

Copyright 2019 – Robert E. Shandor

The unemployment counselor said to me, “Son,

Have you been looking for work?”

He really didn’t look at all like my Dad, so I

Said to this jerk

“No, you silly fool, I just stay at home,

Watch Oprah on my TV…..

While I wait to hear people knock upon my door

And offer great jobs to me”

I couldn’t help myself

I really couldn’t help myself

Well, ask a silly question get a snide response

Seems the way of the world

But sometimes just a tiny little bit of grit

Can yield a beautiful pearl

But I can’t claim that I had such thoughts

When I opened my big mouth

And it was too late by the time I tried

To keep things from goin’ south

I couldn’t help myself

You know I tried a million times, but I

Never got things in line

There were other things that I could have tried

--- (I couldn’t help, help myself)

But I was too funkified –

--- (I couldn’t help myself)

I couldn’t help myself

You know I tried a million times, but I

--- (I couldn’t help, help myself)

Never got things in line

--- (I couldn’t help myself)

There were other things that I could have tried

--- (I couldn’t help, help myself)

But I was too funkified

--- (I couldn’t help myself)

Then there was the time my boss began

To read me the riot act

It was just a little break that I took

He didn’t need to climb up my back

Before I could think about what it could mean

I heard myself say, “You stink!”

Well it didn’t take him long to get back to me

And hand me some paper…pink!

I couldn’t help myself

I really couldn’t help myself

I’ve had this problem since I could speak –

"Mouth-Not-Connected-To-Brain" –

It seems to go off all by itself

Leavin’ me to take the blame

But every story has to come to an end

So they say my friend

You know I would’ve liked to tell you more

But I’m busy makin’ my amends

I couldn’t help myself

I couldn’t help, help myself

I couldn’t help myself

I couldn’t help, help myself

I couldn’t help myself

You know I tried a million times, but I

Never got things in line

There were other things that I could have tried

But I was too funkified –

I couldn’t help myself

You know I tried a million times, but I

--- (I couldn’t help, help myself)

Never got things in line

--- (I couldn’t help myself)

There were other things that I could have tried

--- (I couldn’t help, help myself)

But I was too funkified --

--- (I couldn’t help myself)

I couldn’t help myself

You know I tried a million times, but I

--- (I couldn’t help, help myself)

Never got things in line

--- (I couldn’t help myself)

There were other things that I could have tried

--- (I couldn’t help, help myself)

But I was too funkified --

--- (I couldn’t help myself)

I couldn’t help myself / Help myself / Couldn’t help myself